Ah bless him, he's had another nightmare....

Whoops! As the title comically suggests - yes you guessed it - I incurred fail number 4. Many words come to mind but for our young readers (as if!) i'll just say 'OUCH' very loudly. I shot 85 in the morning and 76 in the afternoon. On a very unmanly note, this test did bring about a few small tears on the way home. Tears of frustration, disappointment, disbelief, you name it. I guess in a short spell it all just compounded and got the better of me. Not a bad way to entertain myself during a traffic jam though.

I think the hardest part of this one was that in days leading upto it (particularly since my lesson) I was feeling really confident and was certain that this was my time. Last night I couldnt stop pacing back and forth, raring to go. But, when I woke this morning something just didnt seem right. I suddenly felt really demotivated and didnt want to go and play. Until just now, I wasnt able to put my finger on why this was but the simple fact is that I in a twisted way, I found it easier to settle for failure and I couldnt make myself hyped up for the fear of another disappointment. I guess I still havent got over the upset of missing my last test by one shot and wasn't ready to endure this 'thing' again.

From a practical perspective, I was pleased by how I hit the ball and the swing changes ive made lately have definitely increased my consistency but my short game and putting particularly were just downright poor! These are areas many golfers see to be unimportant but they are more important than hitting good shots from the tee or fairway. My short game ability is nowhere near as sharp or diverse as it needs to be and it has cost me dearly in all four tests. Tiger Woods is so unbelievably good in these areas, by far the best in the world and I wish I was half as good.

Thus, I have one more test I can take this year, in September back at Bishops Stortford again and if I fail that a much needed break from the strain of constant thinking about the test and trying to prepare hard for what has each time resulted in failure.

On a happier note, my lovely lady R has booked a holiday for the two of us in Catalonia in October so that is something i am very exited about. We dont get much time together so the idea of a whole week alone is very appealing. Cant wait for that!

Ah well, its not very nice to fail anything 4 times but I have to say that all my mates, family, girlfriend have been very supportive and encouraging which I have needed and I am very grateful for that as I know they are pulling for me perhaps harder than I am for myself so I am desperate to pass for them as well as me.

This last test is mega mega important now so now that I have a coach I will be seeing, I am hoping that I will be far improved in all areas and i am gonna throw all last efforts into this and then come the end of september take a long break from it as the battery is nearing flat.

Im off for a beer or 12......