The hypnotherapist.......

Well, i'll get to the hypnotherapy part in a moment but first an update.

I finally finished college last week (well, subject to any referrals I havent been given yet) which was a huge relief as I can now look forward and concentrate on my golf.
Test number 2 looms monday and i cant wait because I truly feel i'll pass this time. I'm not necessarily in spectaular form so to speak but now I know what to expect and how to play this golf course properly I am feeling highly confident. I shot 74 there in practise today which had it not been casued by a start would have been miles lower and I was fully in control of my game whic was great.

A tough decision I have made this week is to pull out of the club championship at the weekend. I have done this out of priority for my test and feel it would be best to have the weekend to prepare myself again, travel up early again etc and not over exert myself before my test.

I had my appointment with the hypnotherapist guy yesterday and think it went pretty well. It was an unusual experience but I decided that I had to be open minded even though i'm a tad sceptical about hypnotherapy.
The guy I saw however was a true professional who obviously knew what he was talking about and this made it easier for me to trust him, considering he was a nice bloke as well.

The session began by some general conversation - how long have I been playing? Have I had many lessons? etc but the question that got the ball rolling was: 'How do I find myself feeling when I play well?' My answer was: 'confident, relaxed and happy' which escalated on to the confession that I tend to play well on my own because i am not under any pressure to perform in front of anybody which led on to me saying that I feel I have a great need to prove myself to other people although I wasnt sure why?' Bloody hell - i'd only been in there for 10 minutes and was already bearing all! Best to get it out in the open though, I though so I can work on it!

The guy began to explain that this was because all humans have basic needs to be appreciated for what they do but it was important for me to ignore external factore and to recreate that 'comfort' feeling from playing golf on my own when I'm playing in a group. He mentioned that the brain performs at its optimal level when it is focused on the present and not in the past or future. I was intrigued to find this out, not to mention how to work on it! Any golfer cannot resist the temptation to think about what score they wish to shoot in the future and holes they are playing in the future which is horrifically detrimental to concentration. He gave me a fantastic drill to help me stay in the present which I will definitely need monday.

We then began the actual hypnotherapy part which I did not find easy. I have never done anything like it before and it was hard to get to grips with.
Basically, after closing my eyes I had to mentally play over 18 great holes i had played in my life and creating the imagery for this the part I struggled with. I am told this gets easier with practise and will definitely be going again to see. I then, and this was the most enjoyable part, had to visage playing the perfect round on my test and imagine myself playing the perfect shot everytime as well as taking note of how I felt after each shot. I enjoyed this because I found the imagery much easier as well as getting a feeling for the emotions involved. I must have got into this part because I walked away with a slight headache - haha! I am going again saturday and am looking forward to it too!

I will report again monday after the test, hopefully with better news than last time. However, if once again things go against me, then I can only get even stronger for the next test and gain new more powerful experiences.

Till next time....

Recovery......

Well I have started to come to terms with Mondays ordeal. Mentally I have certainly accepted the failure and am looking to move forward, but bizarrely i'm still a physical mess which is now kind of beginning to freak me out. I've had a zero appetite and nausea for 2 days now and my body just cant seem to get over the whole experience. I'm not trying to put anyone off this obviously - just being honest about what I am going through.

Its strange though because mentally I feel great. Ive booked another test for July 4th, have fully taken on board everything I learned monday and have ironed out a swing fault that also plagued me monday with my pitching. These things have given me confidence. I am comforted by the fact that even if i get nervous again, it can in no way be to the degree that is was on Monday and although I failed, I did hit a lot of quality shots under the pressure I was feeling, particularly with my driver which is the club I have struggled with greatly in recent times. I was intrigued by this actually because Monday was the best Ive hit my driver for months! It was just anything else that I struggled with!

I also holed a lot of great putts too which has increased my confidence in that area too. The problem I had aside from the nerves was racking up 4 or 5 big numbers each round which does not help with the confidence factor. Silly errors, bad bounces and compounding other errors were my problem. I simply incurred too many penalty shots. All these things now are really spurring me on because I know I have to do next time. I will also have a wise head on the bag from a guy at work who used to caddy for a living and this will aid my fluctuating temper. Added to that my boss N is striking up a partnership with a sports hypnotherapist/psychologist who wants to help me with my preparation for the next test and show me some techniques to help me relax and focus. I cant wait for this, as it is an area I have been looking to develop for a very long time!

I finish college next week and I am very exited about that too! The last 2 months have been a struggle because of work but I feel I have well and truly earned my qualification and cant wait to receive it and confirm it on my CV. It will also be a great relief for me to get this course off my back and behind so I can concentrate on my career because I will then be able to dedicate myself to it whole-heartedly with nothing else to worry about. My lady R has got herself a great new job too so things are indeed looking up.

N and A brought little baby Max home this week and he is settling in great. They are such proud parents and it is amazing that they can now live with the dream they've had for 9 months.

Thus, despite the somewhat negative opening to this blog, I am in a very positive and optimistic mood. Bring on the next test!!!!!!!

The Playing Test

Well, what can I say? I guess in the career of a golfer you get ups and downs, peaks and troughs etc but today was to say the least a struggle.

Unfortunately, today did not the mark the beginning of my professional career but nevermind. I know i'll get there eventually. In my head, before and building up to today, I had done everything I could - worked hard on all aspects of my game, studied the course, tried to dedicate as much time as i could to being sure i was prepared as i could be etc... But, no amount of any of these things can equip you for the sheer nerves you will experience. My first 'life' lesson today was that even with hard work and dedication, there are still no guarantees. The first shot of the morning round, for me, is without question the toughest, scariest shot i've ever had to hit in my life. My hands were shaking, my stomach was somersalting, my palms were sweaty and I was a quivering wreck which is really embarrasing to admit especially as a 2 handicap golfer who ought to be able to handle this! Add to that the fact that i hit a shocker, lost the ball and then had to hit the shot again and this genuinely is the worst i have ever felt on a golf course. The first 5 or 6 holes were a struggle to not vomit myself seriously and this does not help your concentration. Even after I settled slightly, I was finding that any slightly bad shot i hit quickly brought about more nausea, panic and anxiety. What can you do when that happens??? The simplest things seem so difficult and coming to terms with the fact that you are not control of your emotions is very stressful indeed.

If anyone does eventually read this blog for golfing purposes, then let me be the first to say that this will be the scariest golf thing you will have done in your life and in summary as hard as it is to admit, I couldnt handle my nerves even slightly. I shot 82 and 82 which missed the target by 7 shots on an unfortunate total of +22. On a positive note, S shot 78 and 72 which got him in by 8 shots. It was great to see my brother do well and the happiness he derived from it, even tho unfortunately I was struggling. I'll get through next time!!!

There are positives to be drawn. I now know what possibly the highest level of pressure i'll personally experience feels like and this can only make me more aware for next time even i again struggle to deal with it. This is an area i'm going to look into now tho just to see if there is anything at all to help me cope with it cos it was a horrible experience, whilst also vital and important to me as a golfer but in more ways a person. They say 'get back on the horse' and believe you me i'm doin just that - the sooner the better, but hopefully with a golf game and mentality better equipped to deal with the situation.

Knockbacks are gonna happen to anyone for sure but today i learned today it is best to deal with and learn from them as opposed to letting them dictate the future and get you down. In some ways, altho i had a disaster today, I in some bizarre way feel that I am a better golfer for it and this is just one part of the bumpy and never ending learning curve that comes with this unique sporting territory......

An amazing arrival......

Well, this is a very exiting time in my life indeed. My brother N's lady A gave birth on tuesday so I am officially a very proud Uncle. They've named their little boy Max and he is as perhaps the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.

A has shown amazing courage throughout the pregnancy and the efforts she made to look after herself couldnt be more personified in the healthy cheeky little bundle that she produced. She is certainly an amazing influence on N too. The two of them both have amazing personal qualities that I am certain they will apply fantastically to parenthood and the spark between them is apparent to anyone. I'm so pleased that 'baby dave' as they affectionately named him throughout pregnancy is now part of our family and I cant wait to play the 'cool' uncle role.

I tried to pen a little poem together but am a distinct amateur. Here goes anyway:

'young max, i'd like to tell you some facts and who you are and where you're from.
Mummy and Daddy are there through the weak times and the strong.
I'm your proud Uncle Lew and i'm here for you anytime
You ever need anything, the pleasure is mine.

Ha ha, well thats all I have so far but its a work in progress. Just trying to sum up really how the people around him are there for him and he will always be safe and protected.

Anyone who wishes to read through my brothers trials and tribulations as a father in the making go to www.cainzie.blogspot.com for an informative, amusing, genuine and somewhat addictive read. Congratulations to you both - Neil from your little bro and Andrea from your friend and your also son's ecstatic uncle. Here's too an amazing future with lil Max in the Cains clan......

On the golfing front, the playing test draws ever nearer. There will be a detailed blog on my experiences - whether succesful or unsuccesful in the upcoming days so stay tuned!!!

The Practise Round

Well I played the practise round for Bishops Stortford today. Check out their website (www.bsgc.co.uk). Its a great little golf course which I believe, having now played it that i can certainly pass the test playing here, fingers crossed. The main emphasis there is accurate tee shots, which unfortunately has been a slight problem lately although I'm sure with continued hard work i'll be fine as the last couple of days have been very encouraging.

As luck would have it, I've been drawn to play with the assistant there which is great as I can follow by his example and i should get even more guidance the course on the day.

S unfortunately didnt quite make it through his playing test, altho he was really close and i've no doubt he'll fly through next time. In fact, he may well be taking his next test the same time as me.

I'm getting both increasingly excited about this test now as it is less thatn 2 weeks away now and i'm desperate to just get on with the bloody thing!

Thats about it just now. Gonna try and play another practise round there before the test with any luck but stay tuned...