Better news.....

I'm all too aware that my last couple of blogs have been a tad miserable but sometimes if the things that are happening in ones life aren't too great, then that's all that can be written about. No journal would be authentic if it didnt have low times to go with the high ones. Since the misery of last tuesday, many things have happened that have bought back a bit of fun and happiness which is a key to feeling much more positive.

I now truly believe I must have supernatural healing powers. The pains from the whiplash I had on wednesday have now gone completely! Last wednesday I was in huge discomfort and misery, thinking that I would have at least 2 or 3 weeks before recovering! Rather oddly, I woke thursday and thought 'well surely it'll start hurting in a minute?!' because it bizarelly was a hell of a lot looser and less painful than the day before. Then I woke on friday and the pain was 98% gone completely and now it is non existent!
I have spoken to many people about my accident who have also suffered whiplash before and I find it astonishing that I seemed to have escaped so lightly, as one person said they even got pains now, 2 years on!!! I think the reasons for this are probably twofold - I was braced and prepared for the collision (which I discovered can make a huge difference compared to those who crash unexpectedly) and I was doing 25mph tops too and with a seatlbelt on. Thank the lord!
On a funnier note, I was declined my application for a car loan because it turns out i'm not on the electoral roll! Now it makes sense why my parents and brothers always get polling cards thru the post and I don't! I am now looking obviously to rectify this so I can get a car as soon as I can.

On Saturday night, for the first time we had my nephew Maxy to stay for the night. I absolutely loved this. He is for sure (as my mum says), the 'bonniest' baby I've ever seen. It was so nice to finally spend some quality time with the little'un and hopefully make myself a little bit more familiar to him. He had a couple of grizzles as all baby's do but the rest of the time he was a cheeky grinning little happy bundle. I got him out of bed before I went to work sunday morning and spent about half an hour just wandering around the house with him. His interest in absolutely everything around him was brilliant as well as those big wide inquisitive eyes. I really missed him at work that day and fully realise now that I haven't spent enough time with him since he was born.

Anyways, I did something crazy today! - I actually played that silly golf game and I dont know how but I shot 69 - my best score this year. I've got a lesson this week too so am gonna make a bit more of an effort to play a bit more golf now. I've had a breather and have got a lot of appetite for the game again.

Thus, things are certainly on the up - just wish it would stop raining.....

Good days, bad days...

Well forget the former. The latter is to say mildly my views on october 25th 2005!!!

This was the day of the funeral for the lady involved in the train incident.

On my way home from work in the morning to go to the funeral I unfortunately had a crash which would lead to me now being in severe pain with whiplash and a car which has been well and truly written-off.

Basically, to sum up the incident, I was coming down the road which leads to my house when the car in front of me stopped suddenly. Altho I was only doing about 25mph, when I attempted to brake too, my car skidded (it had been raining for about 2 days and the roads were saturated) straight in to the back of the car in front. My car was completely folded up at the bonnett (not a pretty sight) and the lady's car had a large dent in the rear.
When I got out of the car to apologise for hitting her, she brought it to my attention that it was the fault of the car in front of her was to blame for the whole thing as he had broke suddenly with no signalling at all and that it appeared to her that his brake lights hadn't been working. She was very nice and told me that I wasn't to blame and there was nothing I could have done, which there really wasnt.
I wont comment any further on the gentlemans car as I didnt see his actions and therefore that is between him and the lady.

At this stage I just thought i'd sprained my neck slightly.....

Anyways, there was an off-duty policeman on the scene and while we all went off to the funeral, he kindly said that he would arrange to have my car removed.

The funeral was a desperately sad occasion. There is very little more I can say on this matter than I have said already but the husband and two sons (my good friends) were enormously courageous considering their ordeal and I was very proud of their bravery. I wont dwell anymore on this subject.

After we got home from the funeral, calls to get all insurance forms were made and I had to find out where my car was! All this while my neck was getting increasingly more painful and we decided that a trip to A&E was in order.
However, before this we had to go to the car pound in Shoreham to give authorisation for my cars disposal as well as to pay for the recovery. This place was a sorry sight. It was just like a huge car park full of mangled car-cuses (sorry, awful pun!), some of which made my car look quite good.
After my second farewell of the day (and its not even 2pm yet) we set off for the hospital.

I was in and out of A&E in an hour, previously unheard of. The diagnosis was a definite muscular whiplash sprain in the back of my neck and I told it would get quite a lot worse before it would get any better - 'oh good' - I thought! On the way home I picked some drugs and an ointment recommended.

The highlight of my day was going to meet N in a pub in Brighton in the evening for a much needed beer and chill-out session. We hook up quite regularly and I really enjoy these occasions as we get to catch up whats going on with eachother and just talk about allsorts which as the evening progresses, usually gets a tad less coherent perhaps, not to mention very random at times. Haha, cheers N I enjoyed myself as I always do mate. Glad to hear things are going so great with Maxy and A. Long may it continue.

Anyways I awoke this morning, true to form in absolute agony. As I write this, I have swallowed Ibuprofen, put ice on my my neck, heat on my neck and ointment too. To be honest, even with all this it is massively painful. I read up about whiplash and I turns out it can take days or even weeks for the symptoms to peak and I hope this isn't the case with me as I dont think I could handle the discomfort getting much worse than it is right now.

Stay tuned.....

untitled......

I'm only a young man of 22 years and I know my knowledge of life in this world is very limited and therefore it is perhaps not my right to comment on certain things so I hope these words appear in the good faith they are intended.

I came home from what was a truly wonderful holiday to some news that I can only say is devestating in a way that both churned my stomach and scrambled my brain!

In short, I learned that a lady very close to our family (particularly my mother) had taken her own life last week in such a horrific and violent way that it has left me empty, numb, confused and very deeply saddened.
For a very large amount of her life she has always been cheerful, happy, friendly and a good friend to our family. However, I learned that in recent times she had been suffering from clinical depression (as did her mother) and this had got her into a state which led to her to put herself in the path of an oncoming rush hour train!

I'll be honest I didn't really know much about depression but I have since learned that is an actual medical condition as opposed to a 'state of mind' which I naively thought. It is caused by a breakdown of the functionality of the neurotransmitters in the brain which is brought on by a change in chemicals. These chemicals are responsible for a persons emotional state and when then they aren't delivered between the cells correctly, this can cause depression.
When I read through the symptoms of depression that are suffered, it makes me feel desperately sorry that this poor lady was going through such a horrible period! Sleeplessness, loss of appetite, constant feelings of guilt (!), lowered self esteem, feelings of sadness and worthlessness are all symptoms.

It is so terrible how this disease (which it unfortunately is!) affects people's lives and I think people who don't suffer should be extremely thankful. We have all been in a very deep state of shock this week and it just does not seem possible that this happened last week. There are so many unanswered questions - why was she where she was? had this been planned in advance? why wasn't there anything she felt that might help her get better? is there anything we could have done to save her??? The list goes on....

Sadly, this poor lady must have convinced herself that she wasn't ever going to get better and it is impossible to comprehend what this must feel like. I can't imagine how this must be for the lady's husband and two kids. I think that the decision to commit suicide in this way must have been on the spur of the moment and in desperation to free herself from these feelings as my family all know how much love she had for her family. I hope most of all that she has now found piece and happiness within herself. I know she will be in a better place xxxxxxx

Kefalonia

Hello again, I am now back from my holiday in Greece and the 'missus' and I have had an absolutely fantastic time.

An incident occured whilst I was away but I will write about this in a few days as I am still very shaken up about it and don't feel I could find the words yet.

Anyway, the holiday began with a very unsettling journey to the airport at 5am. My ma very kindly offered to take me to Gatwick but to say the least, her car has been known to be a tad unreliable at times.
We got two-thirds of the way to the airport, all going well and then 'judder judder'! The car was kangaroo hopping in a way that did not represent a healthy vehicle. Mum went dark red in fear but thankfully after this minor panic we arrived at the airport safe and sound.

All was fine at the airport but I would like to comment that I do not understand how or why people there were drinking alcohol at 6.30 in the morning, holiday or not! The sight of Guiness at that time made me nauseous to say the least.

Anyway, we arrived to Kefalonia in glorious sunshine and feeling very excited about the week ahead. We piled into a minibus and set off towards Skala, our resort. This was where I noticed the first different thing to England, no barriers on the side of the roads!! Ok there were a few but not really on the hairpin bends! AAArrrgh - very scary.

We arrived at Pelagos bay hotel and checked into our rooms. This was when I learned my first bit of Greek culture - the toilets!
Now, I wont go into too much detail here but lets just say that i needed a well earned sh*t as we all do after a long journey!!! Cue R: 'Oh by the way in Greece you aren't allowed to put paper into the toilet, you have to put it in the bins!!!!' YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!!!!
God, this still turns my stomach!! My one and only gripe about Greece would be this fact as I think it is blatantly disgusting, not to mention hazardous.

It would be impossible to describe my time in Skala chronologically so here are some of the main highlights:

Skala was a lovely little town. There were many cool bars and restaurants to choose from and I think we explored a good portion of them. From one of the I captured my only souvenir - a Mythos beer glass - woo hoo! I swore at the start of the week that i'd get one.

Every night we would end the evening with a night cap at the hotel bar. This was definitely Yannis' turf. This is some ways was my favourite bar of the whole resport even tho it was on my own doorstep! Every drink bought was accompanied by a loud shout of 'YAMAS' or 'RELAX'. I learned very little greek language this week but i did learn 'Yamas' - the greek word for 'cheers' and this seemed really popular, not to mention useful.

The real low point of the week I would say was our trip to the island capital - Argostoli. It was an hour coach trip on those manky hairpin bends which were quite literally terrifying. The guide down there was a camp 17 year old (well that's how old he looked) and I think I speak for everyone by saying I was desperate to ram that microphone down his throat! He would not shut up or stop stating the obvious - 'this is our first stop', 'you will see a mountain on our left' and the most annoying: 'so for now, just sit back, relax and enjoy the journey' which he must have said about 20 times each way.
Argostoli itself was nice enough but I wasnt feeling too well and neither was R so I dont think either of us particularly enjoyed and then came the real low point - the coach ride home in the dark. Every hairpin bend on that coach in the pitch black was blatantly horrifying. When the back wheel slipped on one of them, that was me gone. I was praying to god for a safe return and R had her eyes closed in fear. AH, I'm so glad we got back ok altho R went straight to bed with a poorly tummy and I was close behind for the same reason.

The hotel pool was actually where we spent most of the daytime. It was chilled out with nice people around. The pool itself was bloody cold. It was just a case of dive in, scream blue murder and then swim around frantically for about 5 minutes. Then it was ok.

The rest of the holiday was just an awesome chilled out much needed break and I had a great time with R. Thank you so much babe, I had a great time and would not have had the chance to have this holiday if it wasnt for u! Here's to many more great holidays in the future x

Here comes the winter.....

Well it's been a little while since the last blog but to be honest not a lots been happening except me trying to get my head round my plan of action for the winter. More on that later (if you can handle the anticipation!!!)

In just over a week R and I will be jetting off to Kefalonia (not Catalonia - or even Catatonia as I have also called it in error). I 150% can't wait to go, its been a tough old year really and the opportunity to spend a week basking in glorious sunshine and getting pissed with me lady is an exciting prospect. I have never been the most organised person so the preparations so far have been a tad lacklustre:

1) Sort out currency - uh, not yet
2) Sort out E111 form - not quite yet
3) Packing - err, will do that the night before
4) Passport - dont actually have a clue where that is
5) Haircut - probably the most important as i am starting to look like cousin it! - not done yet!
6) Buy new swimshorts - the hole in mine could prove embarrasing.....

So, as you can see i've got a bit to do.

This whole winter period will be great fun actually. As well as Greece, I am off to Barcelona in November for a long weekend in celebration of R putting up with me for 3 years (standing ovation!) and then for new year we are off to Brussels. Wow, with all of this how am i going to find time to prepare for the playing test campaign/saga of 2006. Frankly at this moment in time I dont give a monkeys cos I am gasping for a breather and feel I deserve it.

Thus, here is the plan for the winter:
1. Get in shape - lose at least a stone in weight. This will be done by focusing more on my eating habits and reducing the amount of beer i drink (i'm only 22 but feel a pro sportsman in the making oughta keep it light on the old lager. This will be tough as I love the stuff but we all make sacrifices from time to time!)

2. Continue with coaching - this will be an important part of my preparation for next year. I will continue going fortnitely to Chichester for my swing lessons which right now are very in depth work in progress. Ideally, I would like to do some work on my chipping and putting with my boss too as we have covered some initial work but will see how this goes as I know how busy he is, especially with a baby on the way in a few weeks.

3. Practise, practise, practise - I have the motivation to work over the winter and to be honest my motivation for my golf has always been high and now I have targets for next year to work towards and I know what I need to do.

4. Spend more time with friends and family - have neglected both of these over the summer due to my golf so aim to redeem myself with certain people over the next few months.

Thats pretty much it in my little world right now stay tuned......